Never has a cold, but trashbin is filled with Kleenex
Reluctant to have blacklight party in room
Seems To Always Be Looking at Middlebury Home page…naked
Wears no pants, just long tshirts in room
When you don’t go on your Saturday morning run, he takes a 45 minute shower
One arm far more muscular than the other
Internet history suspiciously always empty
You return to find chair propped up against door
Launders socks daily
Fresh “mayonnaise” stains on the rug every Monday afternoon
Dog eared copy of “Freshman New Faces” book on desk
*Sorry, ladies. It’s scientifically proven that women don’t masturbate (see page 20, Science section)