DATE | TIME | INCIDENT | CATEGORY | LOCATION | DISPOSITION |
2/14/10 | 11:03 a.m. | Theft | Girlfriend | My heart | Angela baby, please come back! |
2/23/10 | 2:42 p.m. | Unlawful trespassing | Minority | Ross Quad | Campus evacuated |
3/1/10 | 3:29 a.m. | Excretion | Number Two | Mead Chapel | Left for the janitors |
3/10/10 | 8:54 a.m. | Adultery | Naughty professor, dirty schoolgirl | Twilight 204 | Referred to The Police’s song “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” |
3/20/10 | 12:16 p.m. | Hot girl bent over | Spandex | Ross Dining | Left speechless |
3/29/10 | 4:44 a.m. | UFO | Flying saucer | Over Battell Beach | We’re all going to be abducted |
4/05/10 | 4:31 p.m. | Theft | Student | Hadley | Did anybody know what this guy looked like? |
4/13/10 | 7:30 p.m. | Disturbance | Paradiddles | McCullough | Referred to a voice teacher |
4/23/10 | 10:37 a.m. | Terrorism | Road Bomb | Old Chapel Road | Public Safety underqualified to deal with this |
Reports of 543.12 alcohol citations given out, 96.32% of which were to Battell freshmen.