DATE | TIME | INCIDENT | CATEGORY | LOCATION | DISPOSITION |
Fall 2008-Spring 2009 | All the time. | Theft | Endowment | Middlebury College | Referred to the Trustees |
9/12/2009 | 2:31 a.m. | Orgy | Bros | Tavern | Referred to as “a bunch of fags” |
9/24/2009 | 10:34 a.m. | Prostitution | ‘Hos | Old Chapel | Referred to the President |
10/2/2009 | 12:20 p.m. | Disturbance | Excessive Flatulence | Proctor Dining Hall | Referred to a “no black bean burger” diet |
10/8/2009 | 2:06 p.m. | Unlawful Trespassing | Fundraising | Weybridge St. | Shot twice |
10/15/2009 | 7:35 p.m. | Sodomy | Mamajamas | Chateau | None (Mamajamas fled to Switzerland) |
10/25/2009 | 1:09 p.m. | Disturbance | Quidditch | Battell Beach | Referred to reality |
Since it appeared next to Axinn. | All the time. | Obstruction | Mt. Middlebury | Speed Bump | Blown up by ragtag group of rebel fighters |
11/4/2009 | 5:49 p.m. | Gluttony | Taking four cookies | Ross Dining Hall | Referred to the gym |
Reports of 2,399 alcohol citations given out. Thanks to John Roberts of Wisconsin, for being a good sober boy. Though that also makes you a loser with no friends.