public safety log: the entries that you didn’t read about

DATE TIME INCIDENT CATEGORY LOCATION DISPOSITION
Fall 2008-Spring 2009 All the time. Theft Endowment Middlebury College Referred to the Trustees
9/12/2009 2:31 a.m. Orgy Bros Tavern Referred to as “a bunch of fags”
9/24/2009 10:34 a.m. Prostitution ‘Hos Old Chapel Referred to the President
10/2/2009 12:20 p.m. Disturbance Excessive Flatulence Proctor Dining Hall Referred to a “no black bean burger” diet
10/8/2009 2:06 p.m. Unlawful Trespassing Fundraising Weybridge St. Shot twice
10/15/2009 7:35 p.m. Sodomy Mamajamas Chateau None (Mamajamas fled to Switzerland)
10/25/2009 1:09 p.m. Disturbance Quidditch Battell Beach Referred to reality
Since it appeared next to Axinn. All the time. Obstruction Mt. Middlebury Speed Bump Blown up by ragtag group of rebel fighters
11/4/2009 5:49 p.m. Gluttony Taking four cookies Ross Dining Hall Referred to the gym

Reports of 2,399 alcohol citations given out. Thanks to John Roberts of Wisconsin, for being a good sober boy. Though that also makes you a loser with no friends.

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