Dearest Readers,

It is that glorious time of year again. The time when the temperature keeps dropping, the snow keeps falling, and students must turn to some delicious moonshine to keep warm. Coincidentally, it is also the time when a small band of misunderstood geniuses with a penchant for humor (and redheads…I’m lookin’ at you, gurrrl) are allowed to release yet another literary discourse on the Hegelian dialectic. Otherwise known as the CRAMPUS. Welcome to the online version of the very special Fall 2009 issue.

Due to a power vacuum at the end of last year, I was fortunate enough to take control of this brilliant publication via a violent coup. But have no fear, loyal readers. I have long studied the Old Masters of humor, and am well versed in their ways. Do not let my youthful features fool you either. After all, my man Jesus became ruler of the known universe at age thirty. I think I can handle a magazine whose depth only extends as far as Nietzschean fart jokes (see page 12). Anyhow, I know finals are right around the corner. So don’t study, and read this instead. After all, what’s the good of getting that A in Orgo if the last good laugh you had was in the first grade?

Cheers,

Chris