Peer Career Advisor (PCA) and Posse Scholar Zoey Ellis ’22 interviewed Daniel Buchman ’19 to answer common career related questions LGBTQ+ identifying students might have when seeking job opportunities.

The views expressed are the author’s and not necessarily those of the U.S. Government.

Zoey: What activities or student organizations were you involved in during college and how did they help you get to where you are today?

Daniel: I did a few different things. Three that stand out are debate, ResLife, and language tables. Debate was a stand-in for all the philosophy courses I still regret not taking.  It helped me take apart arguments and speak persuasively.  Those skills have served me in everything from job interviews to visa adjudications. ResLife taught me how to mediate conflicts and create spaces where people feel supported and willing to speak honesty — both skills I have used in my work already.  As a language nerd, I loved serving at language tables, but when I became a manager, it was all logistics and not particularly fulfilling even though it felt like a promotion. I’d argue the same principle holds true for a lot of jobs.  Sometimes the most gratifying work happens at lower levels, and a management role isn’t always a better deal. 

Zoey: As a graduate who identifies as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Non-Binary,  Gender Non-Conforming, Genderfluid, or Queer, what are some of the questions you suggest students should keep in mind when researching employers and applying to job opportunities?

Daniel: I’d say the most important thing is to ask the questions. Small red flags you notice early can easily become exhausting parts of your workday, so to the extent circumstances allow, try to avoid rushing into a job without doing your due diligence. 

Beyond considering the mission of the organization you’re joining and its impact on other queer communities, I recommend asking folks inside the organization — apart from those interviewing you — about internal policies affecting queer employees.  I’ve sent hundreds of LinkedIn messages to random strangers, and I’ve gotten the most responses when I mention from the get-go that I want to discuss being queer in their office. I ask all sorts of questions. Is there an employee affinity or resource group for queer employees?  Does it have a track record of successfully advocating for its members, or is it just window dressing?  Does the healthcare, if offered, cover gender-affirmation procedures? Are there many openly queer employees? Is parental leave offered for adoption or surrogacy?  Even if you don’t see these questions applying to you directly, they can serve as a litmus test for the degree to which folks are comfortable with queerness within the organization.  

Zoey: Would you suggest students consider to what extent they would like their career to incorporate their LGBTQ+ identity? Do you want your identity to have a major role, such as working for an LGBTQ+ advocacy group? Or expressed differently, like joining the LGBTQ+ affinity group for employees at an organization?

Daniel: Having my identity highlighted in my work wasn’t necessarily something I wanted, but it has become a big part of my job, and I’ve found that to be extremely rewarding.

Before this job, I was never really active in any queer orgs or queer advocacy.  Now, I’m a diplomat, and I represent the United States. Being out and proud, wherever I am in the world, is integral to doing my job well.  I show folks overseas from all walks of life that, in the United States, the gay son of Russian Jewish immigrants from South Brooklyn can go out and represent his country without hiding any part of who he is.  At the same time, being queer means having a greater perspective on the more challenging aspects of U.S. society.  Discussing those and our country’s other struggles honestly, empathetically, and with humility makes me a more credible interlocutor. 

During her time as a national security advisor, Susan Rice said “think of the LGBT person in Bangladesh who knows that someone at the American embassy understands who she is… That is how we build bridges and deepen partnerships in an increasingly globalized world.”  Reading that for the first time inspired me to become the Embassy’s representative of our LGBTQI+ employee affinity group.  Today, my identity is absolutely central to my day-to-day professional life.  It’s been one of the most rewarding parts of my time as a Foreign Service Officer and also the least expected. 

Zoey: Could you recommend any career-related LGBTQ+ resources that helped you in the job search process? 

Daniel: I think Facebook groups are an undervalued resource.  There are groups for just about everything.  Search or ask around for a Facebook group of queer professionals in whatever sector you want to join.  It almost certainly exists and will give you access to an incredible network.  Being queer has enabled me to build immediate connections with queer folks at even the highest levels of the State Department.  It’s given me a network of mentors, friends, and supporters, which I would not have been able to access otherwise.

Zoey: Have you come out to your employer, and if so, when in the employment process and how?

Daniel: I started coming out on the first day of orientation. In the Foreign Service, your colleagues double as your second family away from home, so I wanted to build open and honest relationships with my colleagues right out of the gate.

I was in a relationship at the time, and I would drop it into casual conversation, e.g., “my boyfriend and I are planning a trip this weekend.”  Outside of specific contexts, it’s always awkward to say “I’m queer!”  I’ve always tried to have segues ready like “around the time I came out…”, “my ex-boyfriend introduced me to…”, “all my non-queer friends think…”, etc. Depending on the context, these can work at dinner parties, happy hours, job interviews, and water coolers.

I was really nervous during the hiring process and thought coming out would’ve added a layer of stress I wanted to avoid.  In hindsight, I think having come out would’ve actually helped me.  The State Department really values intercultural competence, and like a lot of queer folks, being queer taught me how to code-switch.  Because my identity is perceived so differently depending on the places I go and the people I meet, I’ve become pretty good at knowing how to adjust my approach to interaction, depending on the cultural context.  I didn’t say any of that in my interview and wish I did.

Zoey: What advice would you give your younger college self?

Daniel: Prepare to make mistakes — a lot of mistakes. At Midd, I was super high strung; perfection was the standard, and failure wasn’t an option. That was maybe sustainable, though definitely not healthy or helpful, when the bad grades that sent me on anxious spirals, thinking that I had ruined my future and would never amount to anything, came once every couple of months. Now, I mess up much more frequently. Not because I’ve become less competent, but because I have more responsibilities and thus more opportunities to drop the ball. I care about doing a good job. I’m a public servant, and how well I serve matters to me, but if I took every mistake as an indicator of my worth the way I did in college, I would be worse at my job—not better. So I’m working on being better at making mistakes, and I wish I had started learning that skill much earlier.

Zoey: Is there any other advice that you’d like to share with Middlebury students?

Daniel: Empathy and compassion are as much life skills as they are professional skills. Being kind to people, leveling with them, listening, working to understand others’ experiences, etc., aren’t just nice things to do, they will also make you better at your job. No one is perfect at them, and it takes a lifetime to get good. But college — during a pandemic that affects everyone differently — is as good a time as any to practice, so I’d recommend starting now.

If you would like to contact Daniel Buchman ’19, please reach out via Midd2Midd!