I know I shouldn’t pick these fights. I know my petty jealousness is only digging a deeper hole.  I can’t stop myself, though! All I think about is if he is happy, if I am a disappointment.  What can he think of me? All I have, all I depend on, is him.  I can’t bear it when he is mad at me but I have no make him feel how I feel.  He doesn’t understand the depth of this love, of my feelings, or of my hurt. I have to make him understand! When I’m doing it I don’t mean to hurt him- I don’t mean to manipulate- but to appeal to his logic doesn’t work.  I need his attention and the only way to get it is to cry or yell or fight.  I can’t break this cycle and we have had two giant fights in a row this evening.  Yes, we hate being mad and we make up, but I just don’t know how much wear and tear my heart can take.