I have woken up from a dark coma. The doctors all thought I was going to die. It seemed that I should have died. But I am here. I should be well soon.

Kerinin takes care of Ani. But perhaps too much. He is quite taken by her. But he did not even think I could brest feed her. That is the one thing I can do as a mother. But Kerinin. His presence makes me repulsed. Eww. I just hate being around him.

Vronksy is leaving for a business trip soon. Apparently he tried to commit suicide. But he missed! How I would love to see him. He has emailed and begged me to come visit him before he leaves. I will ask Kerin what he thinks I should do or if I can go visit him. Oh but really! I should never see Vronsky again. It is not right. I am deciding never to see him again!