2009/10/26

How did I discover my passion for mathematics for use in workshop?

I guess I have always had a certain tendency to favour math. As a young child who has not entered an educational system yet, I was very curious about everything; I kept asking questions and seeking definite answers. And I always wanted to see connections in a bigger picture. At the same time though, I was also a creative mind that liked to approach things in my own way. Since I kept seeking definite answers with associations, and I was aware of other approaches, it comes naturally that I found my passion in math – the subject that has explicit answers interrelated in different concepts, but those answers can be found in many different ways.

After the fourth grade, I tested in a mathematical school (eight year gymnasium) for talented children. I continued developing my knowledge and I never had problems understanding new mathematical concepts. Math seemed very easy to me during that time and, naturally, it became one of my favourite subjects. For a period of six years, I never did more work than homework and I always walked out with As after exams.

I spent my last two years of high school studying IB (International Baccalaureate) math Higher and Further Level in another selective school – scholar Red Cross Nordic United World College. It was then when I finally developed my passion for tutoring my peers. Firstly, I had more knowledge than most of my peers and I was happy to share it with them. I did not feel useless; I felt worth when I was doing something beneficial to others. My peers thought I knew more than they did and they expected it to be always like that (psst – nobody has a clue that it changed years ago). But later, as I had to learn totally new concepts in a new language, i.e. English, using a different educational style that was seeking more individual work, I suddenly found myself not knowing everything. I had to re-learn learning again. The subject of mathematics became a challenge rather than an easy ride. I struggled through each lesson maybe even more than my peers did; and I constantly had to invest time in seeking understanding. Thus, I was very glad when my classmates kept asking me for help as long as I was able to help them. I mean, I was not perfect and I could not know everything all the time. But when I did, I could easily anticipate struggles of my peers and offer an explanation to them – the explanation that worked for me. I was aware that I did not know everything immediately. But I knew that, once I finally understood a concept, I could explain where exactly a specific problem in thinking was. I am, maybe, just able to solidify and hold knowledge more easily.

Finally, I entered a college and became a math major. Frankly, I did not choose it in order to get As. In fact, I have not received a solid A on my math exam for a while, while I used to get A+ in my modern dance class…and I have never danced before… Well, I chose mathematics because I wanted to keep developing my passion of seeking definite answers by different ways. My strategy for mathematics has not been performance seeking rather understanding seeking instead. I know that my results have not been perfect and thus I have considered giving up on the idea of math being my domain many times. But I always reminded myself the true reason why I feel comfortable in the field. I like the feeling of satisfaction when, after all of that personal intellectual struggle, I finally find a correct answer.  It is like climbing a mountain in the winter and being able to slide down with joy. I believe that everyone should get a chance to know that sweet feeling, whether they need some push upwards the slope or not. And therefore, I decided to keep helping others with their intellectual struggles in mathematics. I still study mathematics, trying to do my best, and I decided to explore learning and teaching process academically through the Educational Studies department as well.