I don’t even know where to begin.  As I predicted, the steeple chase today did not go well.  What started off as a fairly tight race turned into a disaster.  Vronsky was keeping up with the predicted winner and everything seemed to be going well.  I had my eyes on him the entire time.  All of a sudden, at the end of the race I saw his horse start to tire and feared for the worst.

Then it happened, the horse collapsed and I was so worried for him.  The entire race stopped, I start crying and couldn’t control myself.  I realized how much I need him in my life!  There were a couple of moment where I thought he had died, and I felt like a part of me had died as well.  It was so unnerving not to know what had happened to him.

Luckily Vronsky wasn’t seriously injured and was able to walk away.  His horse did not fare as well.  The poor thing had to be shot! It broke its back and there was nothing they could do for it.

Alexi told me that I needed to leave the races with him and that my outburst was inappropriate and that I should try and control myself more. Neither of which I agree with.  Hopefully there will be some sort of resolution soon.  I can’t stand this anymore.  Alexi is so insufferable.