Valentine’s Day is an over-commercialized, sickly-sweet holiday filled with sappy love notes, flowers, and enough candy to rot your teeth. It’s the one day of the year specifically devoted to love. One day out of 365 days. For many, it’s a painful reminder, whether they’ve lost a significant other or are simply unlucky in love. For those who have someone to share it with, it can be a day of bliss. Others approach it with complete indifference or scathing bitterness. It can make us feel bad about ourselves and jealous of one another. For some, it’s the loneliest day of the year, simply because someone decided to put a label on it.
Today, I chose not to dwell on the fact that I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. I woke up optimistic, happier than I remember being on any of the twenty February fourteenths that came before this one. Only my mommy got me a Valentine’s Day gift, but that doesn’t bother me even a little bit today. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-pity, clutching my problems like a security blanket. What really takes courage is positivity – in being positive, I really put myself out there. Though taking a chance can be scary sometimes, I never regret it.
This afternoon, I purchased a dozen roses and trotted downtown with a childlike sense of excitement. I handed the roses out to twelve random passersby with a smile and a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” People out to lunch, on their work breaks, leaving the gym, or chatting with friends. Their reactions made me beam with joy.
One woman was in an alley taking a smoke break. I had seen her walk back there, so I turned into the alley and approached her. When she saw me pull a rose from a bunch, she said “Oh, thank you. I needed one of these today.” I replied, “I figured some people would,” smiled, and walked away as she thanked me again. A couple of women I passed on the sidewalk simply gave a very taken aback “thank you,” clearly surprised and touched by the gesture. One woman stopped, her mouth gaping in apparent disbelief, as she thanked me profusely. I assured her that it was my pleasure, told her to have a good day, and continued on my way.
When I approached a couple leaving the gym, I decided to do the less conventional thing and hand a rose to the man. They both thanked me. “You two can share it,” I said, laughing, as I walked away. When I reached the end of the street, I turned and saw that they were still standing there watching me.
Next, I walked up to a table at which a Marine was seated talking with a friend. He was looking down as I handed him the rose and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” After taking the rose, he turned his head up to look into my face and gave me a surprised “thank you.” The man sitting with him said how nice it was, so I gave him one, too.
I turned the corner and saw a family with a little girl, so I asked if I could give her one. Her father said yes, so I kneeled down and handed it to her as she turned around. “Happy Valentine’s Day. Be careful, it has thorns,” I said. Her mother thanked me and wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day as well.
The second to the last rose was probably my favorite. A couple was standing on the sidewalk talking, and I walked up and handed a rose to the woman. “Oh, thank you so much!” she said. As I walked away, I heard the man say in a reassuring tone, “She’ll get hers,” and I smiled to myself.
My very last rose went to a very charismatic young homeless man sitting on the sidewalk on his spread out blanket. I said, “Happy Valentine’s Day. This is my last one!” He thanked me and asked if I had a date tonight. “Kind of,” I replied, since I am planning to go to a party as soon as I finish typing this. “If it falls through, I’m available,” he said. I smiled all the way back to my car.
Many years I have chosen to indulge in self-pity on Valentine’s Day. I scorn the commercialism just as much as anyone else, and I have never had a romantic Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend. But I know that there are still people out there who need a little reassurance now and then, in whatever form. Not a single person who received a rose from me was indifferent or disappointed. I might call it a social experiment of sorts, and in my opinion, it was very successful.
What Valentine’s Day really makes me wonder is why we need a designated, commercialized day in order to show the people in our lives how much we love and appreciate them. We should be doing it every day of our lives. On this day, people expect gifts and elaborately planned romantic evenings, and are disappointed if plans fall through or significant others don’t step up to the plate. Maybe we should stop saving all of our romance and kindness up until this one day of the year, and show people we love them with small gestures all year round. Not just the people in our closest circles, but strangers, as well. I have never seen a random act of kindness go unnoticed.
Today was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.
Cassandra Stedham is a student of International Policy Studies at the Monterey Institute of International Studies, with a concentration in Human Security and Development. She is working toward a career in International Journalism. You can visit her blog at talktoastrangerblog.wordpress.com.
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