How does where we are from influences the decisions we make? Include your own decisions; perhaps the decision to come to Middlebury is a good way to start with. How do your decision compare to those made by boy in the “Araby” and Sammy in “A & P”?
Every now and then I feel the urge questions the idea of human individuality. Doubts arise in my mind…
“I’m going to Middlebury”, these were the most clichéd words on all tables involved in the countdown towards the 26th of August. This phrase seems shallow, very direct in its meaning for all of us here. But for me, my family and my people what it implied was large enough to make a full senior year theses paper. I wasn’t just going to normal liberal art college in the United States; I was actually moving to complete foreign country, thousands of miles away from my home; I was moving to place notorious throughout my land for its politics. Indeed, I was doing something none of my age in my family had ever tried or even thought of doing before.
Surely, coming to Middlebury was not an easy decision for me. I had spent all my life fully tied within my own family, amongst people of my own culture, my own religion. And now to suddenly “grow-up” and go-abroad, at the tender age of 18, to a place full of “aliens” and live in a complete diametrical culture from that of mine was not at all a piece of cake. All the emotional stuff…my family, my culture, religion were more than enough for me to handle. And to make things worse…I was left alone to handle all this. I was dropped alone on the middle of a scary road; I didn’t know how to cross it …I had never learnt it. I felt alone. All my shaky steps hid a fear behind them, a fear of failure, fear of total destruction. No one supported my choice of studying in the United States …but I can’t blame them. Whenever any discussion used to take a turn towards the topic “Talha & US”, three usual sentences made their way quickly on to the table “So Talha you are leaving us?, or my brother will comment, “I bet he’ll come back crying within a week…We all know him”. All these words pierced though my heart wildly than bullets always bringing a surge of adrenaline throughout me. It gave me a mixed feeling…a sensation of anger and an impression of fear. However, it always sparked a wave of zeal and vigor in me. It made me realize that somehow or the other, sooner or later I had to cross this road, and I had to do it alone. I continued my countdown to the 26th of August, applying a risky and uncalculated strategy that I had learnt from Ostrich – “Ignore the reality”. I avoided direct discussions with everyone over “Talha & USA”. Whenever my brain allowed the very usual emotions pre-homesickness to flood in, I would completely shutdown my cerebrum. I closed my eyes for the traffic; I knew the traffic was scary enough to make me retreat. I knew that leaving my family, my culture, and my religion was too harsh for my will power to compete against; although my willpower was one of my culture’s own creations.
I’m finally here at Middlebury, at last! But it’s not over. I still face the “yes / no” situations every day. But now I have no pressure, I am “Independent!” Or am I? This is where I question the existence of human individuality. Even in a situation where a person is thought to be completely independent, he is still tied to the very same culture he was brought up in. Whenever I am about to make a decision all my past experiences, my culture, my upbringing materialize in front of me; as a white mist blurring all other angles of view to the same thing. All crazy invitations of partying, smoking, drinking and other foolish stuff hear a big ‘no’ from me. Whenever I’m about to do something special or take any important decision one though always impinge my mind – what my countrymen will think about this? This is enough to define the limits for me.
I know limits have been set for me. And I also know that not everyone has the same limits. People come from different backgrounds, they different experiences and view things differently. An American brother of mine would never mind attending a “crazy American style party”, neither will he mind abusing alcohol and stuff. On the other hand, I might for sure.
Similarly, the boy in Araby had his life experiences behind him. He was desperate for love, and his desperation forced him to try and seek it in Meegan’s sister. I on the other hand may never allow a crush to sweep in through me and especially when it’s on a friend’s sister. No way! For me it’s unethical and immoral, not the crush itself but to have it on friend’s sister. But I also realize that I have a different past behind me… I’m not that boy or someone in his position. I’ve never been hungry for love. Who knows I might have done the same if I had a similar past.
On the other hand A&P didn’t even made sense to me. A place where women go shopping dressed up this is something faraway my culture and my religion has allowed me imagine. Even if I, on the checkout counter, encountered a company like that I would have either looked down or left that place. I have my morals and I’m happy with them. This is how the place I grew up in influenced me. It gave me my ethics; it taught me the respect of women. It taught me everything I am today.
Individuality does not exist. A human who walks so arrogantly on this earth, boastful about his power to decide his future never realizes his dependence on his past. He may be an individual as a body…but all his actions and decisions are a reflection of the environment he grew in.
Juxtaposition in “Dances with the Wovles”
An example of juxtaposition in “Dances with the wolves” that makes its way into my mind is the introduction we were given about the two different Indians clans. The Pawanees were introduced first. They stayed still at a point, looking curiously at the nearby fire for a long time, confused as in what to do. This reflected their down morale and low spirits at that time. They eventually followed their leader towards the source but their actions had a fear inside them; they were not fully confident about themselves and were probably passing through a bad patch. Finding Timmons alone with his carriage made them real monstrous and they enjoyed every bit of Timmons’s pain as he died. This implied their monstrous nature, hunger for violence and the lack of human feelings.
On the other hand Sioux were introduced later when the kicking bird broke away from his camp into the open plains looking for some kind of relaxation. The Sioux were more organized, and in better shape than the Pawanees. Their leader, Kicking Bird going into the open plains to relax implied that the Sioux were having a good time, and had probably just passed successfully through something. Kicking Bird, finding an inhabited US post didn’t retreated to call his soldiers for an attack as did the Pawanees but confidently went alone and unarmed to investigate and retreated quickly upon seeing Lieutenant Dunbar ragging towards him, naked. Even after this incident he never called upon his tribe for a attack on the lonely Lieutenant. This gave an impression that Sioux were relatively peace loving clan and preferred not to engage in unnecessary violence.
This juxtaposition was used to give readers/audience a contrast between two native tribes, implying that not all Indians were the same but had differences amongst themselves as well. This Juxtaposition was present in both the book and the Movie. The one in book better defined as it gave the readers a better picture into the mindsets of the two tribes as compared to the movie. The movie on the other hand better presented that mindscape into action. The killing of Timmons by the Pawanees is an example here. It was a bit exaggerated to give the audience a strong impression about the animalist nature of the Pawanees. Moreover in the movie the Pawanees were not specifically defined while they were introduced, they were generally representing all Indians until the Sioux came into consideration later.