As Told by Carlos M. Beato (NYMP5)

“It was over five years ago when I first embarked on a study abroad journey that would change my life forever. While I matured in the most basic of aspects, I also had to learn how to deal with the issues of race, socio-economic status and culture.

In a country that claims to be so [civilly] advanced, the division of race and class in Spain was one that caught my attention. I found out in the very beginning that my not being white would not only affect where I could live but I was often granted access to certain neighborhoods only when I mentioned that I was an American student from the United States. Never in my life have I felt that I was not wanted and it was through this experience of searching for a “piso” in Spain that made these feelings a reality.  While it helped that I spoke Spanish well over the phone, it was not until I visited many of these potential living spaces that I experienced firsthand the Spaniard’s actual reactions to my darker skin color. Nevertheless, this experience prepared me for other similar situations [during my time in Spain] that would eventually warrant me to question my identity.

Once I remember being asked by a Spanish lady if she could touch my “nappy” hair because she had never seen anything like it. I had never experienced anything like that back in the United States nor could I compare [the experience] because I had never let my hair grow prior to my year abroad. The decision [to not cut my hair] did not come out of the blue, but rather after having a [negative] experience with a barber in Madrid. The Spanish barber did not know how to cut my hair and while I hated wearing hats, they were my only salvation in that time of crisis.  To this day I still blame him for accelerating my hairline recede at a much quicker pace.

[Through my time in Spain,] I became an independent man and learned how to juggle the different responsibilities that comes with living alone. I had learned how to cook (with my mother on the other end of the phone of course), how to manage my funds but most importantly also how to find a balance between the demanding academic work of Universidad Carlos III de Madrid  while having a social life. And while I had to deal with older Spanish women staring at me up and down on the train, my constant realization that I was the only person of color in a train car and watching my neighbors’ skeptical look every time I left my apartment, these experiences have helped me shape my identity as a Black Dominican-American man today.”