The snow fall today reminded of the article by Bella English in the Boston Globe about snowplow parents. The term snowplow parents is a clever analogy for parents who are extremely over protective of their children and want to constantly clear any snow in their children’s path. More and more these types of parents are surfacing on the college level, and technology plays a role in their prominence.
In the article, English explains how snowplow parents are inserting themselves into their child’s lives at the college level. She gives examples of this intrusion such as one parent who called the dean of Boston University to complain about her child receiving a A- in a class. English continues by explaining the significance of the intrusion. By stepping into the lives of their child in such an aggressive manner, snowplow parents undermine the confidence of their child. Furthermore, the child will reach adulthood without understanding how to handle adversity because it has never been a part of their life.
Technology plays a large role in the creation of a snowplow parent relationship. With todays technology, it is possible to be in almost constant contact with your parents. Between text messages, emails, video chats and so on, people can easily maintain constant contact. The issue is that this constant contact pulls the student out of college life. It detracts from the college experience the student is supposed to receive. The student becomes reliant on connections to people and parents far away via technology and is less apt to succeed on his or her own.
I certainly have gone through a bit of a struggle with my parents upon going to college. They were very sad to see me leave their every day lives, and I know that if it was up to my mom I would have gone to Middlesex Community College five minutes from my house. Yet, over time my parents have gradually been able to surmount the difficulty of being apart. Now we text or call only about 4 times a week, still staying in close contact but not smothering me. I think the transition has gone as well as possible, and am grateful they are not full blown snowplow parents!
I really like the term “snowplow parents.” In my opinion these parents may think that they are helping their children, but in the long run they are only hurting them. There comes a time where parents need to let go of their children and allow them to become responsible for themselves even if it means learning the hard way. I think college is a great time for this.
I can relate to you in that my parents, specifically my mom, had a very hard time when I left for college. It got to the point where my brother and sister would look for her and find her cuddled up in my bed crying. However, she has gotten much better and is getting used to the fact that I am not around all the time. Don’t get me wrong, she still texts me almost everyday, but I don’t mind it since I miss my family as well. Fortunately for me, my parents have always encouraged me to be independent and take care of myself. Because of this, I feel like they prepared me for the future very well. Even still, I am very thankful that there are so many means of communication that allow me to connect with them whenever I want. It certainly makes being far away much easier.
As parents do become more tech savvy, it does intrude a bit into the lives of their children. What is free space? My parents are not the best with technology (thank goodness), but I believe that they don’t ask me what I’m doing on it because they trust me enough. I think that some parents need to let their kids have some amount of freedom and escape. It is how they learn about themselves instead of worrying what their parent(s) might see. I still call home and email my sister to send things to my mother, but that is the only contact she really has to me which may be a sort of downside. Either way, if there’s a will, theres a way for communication.
Whenever I read an article about parenting, I always become more appreciative of my parents. I’ve read articles about snowplow parents and I’ve read articles about parents that let their kids do their own thing as soon as they turn 12. I think my parents do it just right. They know I’m an independent person, but they know I still need them and appreciate all they do for me. They leave me alone when I’m at school, but they know I will call eventually to check in. This probably stems from my four years in boarding school, where I’m used to being on my own and have gotten in the habit of a healthy amount of parental contact while I’m at school. I was intrigued upon arrival to find most kids parents setting up their entire rooms, folding their laundry into their drawers, and organizing their desk and dressers. My parents helped me carry all my junk to my room, dropped it on the floor and said “have fun, call us when you can.” That was that, but that is totally normal for me. It’s been almost three months since I’ve been at college and I’ve only returned home once, but being away from home for so long has given me a new appreciation for the place I live. Now, whenever I go home I enjoy ever minute of my stay, but I’m happy to leave when I must go back to school. Speaking of, I need to pack my backs because I’m leaving tomorrow.