Author: Sophia Allen

In thinking about empathy and processing how I perceive other’s emotions this month, I feel better able to interpret my surroundings.  One of my big focuses this semester was trying to understand how empathy develops over the course of one’s lifetime.  Starting as children, we turn to our parents as models for how to act and feel.  They teach us how to be polite, how to share, and  how to respect the property and opinions of others.  I think it is of the utmost importance that we have this foundation as our habits as adolescents translate into our adult lives.  The basic principles of empathy are inherently present in some, however, we can always grow and continue to cultivate our understanding of what makes our peers, and ourselves, unique.  As a goal for the future, I want to keep asking my friends how they are and I want to be the best listener I can be.  Sometimes when we have other things on our minds, it is hard to fully hear another person.  However, this skill is invaluable and essential for maintaining fulfilling relationships.

Recently, my first year seminar professor challenged us to not use our phones or social media sites for 24 hours as an experiment, encouraging us to make more eye contact with people around us.  I was excited for this day without technology as I had a very positive experience this summer not using my phone for a full month when I was backpacking in Wyoming.  The day began with me setting my alarm for practice with my watch, a device I had not used since I had been in college.  Throughout the day, it was hard to coordinate where to meet my friends for lunch and how to get in touch with my teammates, however, the action of leaving my phone at home made me feel less caught up in responsibilities and better equipped to enjoy the present.  In class today, we talked about our experiences and everyone seemed to agree that their day was more engaging and meaningful when they weren’t distracted or worrying about their duties to technology.   In general at Middlebury, I found I have used social media sites less and I also take less pictures because 1) I am too busy and 2) I think my friends are far more interesting than the screen of my phone.

As a diver, I am on the smallest team on the Middlebury Campus with an outstanding number of 3 students participating.  Even though we are only a trio, we still have our own coach and more boards than there are divers to practice on.  Not only am I lucky enough to be able to use Midd’s beautiful natatorium, but I also have teammates who encourage and support me both in and out of the pool.  Since I eat two meals a day with these people, it feels as if I know everything that goes on in their days (and they would say the same about mine).  People always ask me if I am sick of them, but the truth is that we even choose to spend extra time together, sometimes heading over to the library after practice or going to other sport’s events.  This week was the first week of our season, and I just wanted to give them a shout out for being the two very best people I could ask for as teammates.  We may be able to cheer as loud as the swimmers, but we still have a lot of spirit.

Until I came to college, I never realized what a privilege it really is to be able to enjoy a nice meal with friends and family at a restaurant.  As my days are structured around practices in the morning and at night, I am usually running around the dining hall putting whatever looks good on my plate and eating quickly in order to make it to practice.  While eating meals has become efficient for me, I don’t often enjoy them or eat slowly in order to enjoy the company of others.  This weekend, I went out for dinner twice and took my time, not worrying about when our food took longer to arrive than expected because the conversation was flowing and I was enjoying the environment of the restaurant.  It really is a treat to escape the Proctor rush every once and a while.

I think teaching empathy is one of the hardest tasks we have as caregivers, parents, and role-models in society.  I was recently reading an article on different strategies used in school settings to encourage empathetic sentiment in young children and found myself wondering how some are born with an inherent disposition to be more empathetic than others.  What constitutes an empathetic vs. a non-empathetic person and how can people be empathetic in some situations but not others?  One of the suggestions in the article for how to teach your child empathy was to encourage the child to formally address their feelings and the emotions of others in order to better recognize the subtleties of facial expressions and actions.  It’s very interesting to consider our first introductions to empathy and consider how empathy first plays a role in our early lives.

My room is a forced double and an extremely tight squeeze for my roommate and I plus all of our stuff, which is why I never imagined I would be chosen to host a recruit for my team.  There is simply no room for another person, however, despite this fact, I had the pleasure (and I mean this now that it is over) of hosting a prospective diver considering applying to Middlebury ED.  At first, I was unsure of how to handle this responsibility as I am a freshman and still figuring out how to handle my schedule and balance my activities.  I thought about all the things my recruit trip host did well and tried to emulate her actions; I took her on tours of buildings she wanted to see, asked her questions that weren’t about what other schools she was looking at, tried to explain the team I am a part of even though the season has not yet started, and listed my favorite things about Midd.  Although I was busy and had many obligations to fulfill this weekend, I’m really glad that I was given the opportunity to possibly influence someone’s decision to apply to the school I now consider home.  Even though she slept in a crack between my roommate and I’s bed, she woke up smiling and thanked me for my hospitality.  I am honored to feel like I have made an impact on someones initial experience of this welcoming campus.  Even if she doesn’t apply here, I feel that everyone deserves to see a school that they are interested in the best light possible.

My room is a forced double and an extremely tight squeeze for my roommate and I plus all of our stuff, which is why I never imagined I would be chosen to host a recruit for my team.  There is simply no room for another person, however, despite this fact, I had the pleasure (and I mean this now that it is over) of hosting a prospective diver considering applying to Middlebury ED.  At first, I was unsure of how to handle this responsibility as I am a freshman and still figuring out how to handle my schedule and balance my activities.  I thought about all the things my recruit trip host did well and tried to emulate her actions; I took her on tours of buildings she wanted to see, asked her questions that weren’t about what other schools she was looking at, tried to explain the team I am a part of even though the season has not yet started, and listed my favorite things about Midd.  Although I was busy and had many obligations to fulfill this weekend, I’m really glad that I was given the opportunity to possibly influence someone’s decision to apply to the school I now consider home.  Even though she slept in a crack between my roommate and I’s bed, she woke up smiling and thanked me for my hospitality.  I am honored to feel like I have made an impact on someones initial experience of this welcoming campus.  Even if she doesn’t apply here, I feel that everyone deserves to see a school that they are interested in the best light possible.

Sometimes I realize that in the moment, I can easily make things far more dramatic than they seem.  In a school like Middlebury, often we balance 2,3,4, even 5 activities at once, trying to put 100% effort into all of them because we are young and motivated.  This week has been a whirlwind and I’ve realized that after running from practice to class to practice to the library, I haven’t even taken a second to process anything I have felt or done.  Today I did just this by sitting outside, drinking tea and calling my mom, recalling all the tough workouts and long nights in the library.  By taking a step back, I realized how much I have done in the past 5 days, but how little I have stopped to enjoy my success and share my news with someone I care about.  From now on, I think I am going to make calling home a Saturday tradition.