Author Archives: Zarina Kaliaskarova

How realistic is it for a foreign student to visit a different country and discover the problems and measure the challenges that nation faces in peace building process? How reliable is the analysis of the student’s two week stay in a country and is there a sufficient time to conduct their researches and go back to their academia’s with the deliverables? Are these deliverables prepared with objective perspectives or from bias bases? Of course being aware of due takes, taking fieldwork reporting class and being prepared before the research helps in completing the task but is it sufficient enough for an unexperienced researcher to shut down its subjective perception and deliverable based on it. And how much moral obligation do we have to ask a burning questions that makes some of the interviewees upset or angry? Is it possible for a foreigner and inexperienced person to feel the boundaries? Do these boundaries depend on the knowledge that we got in academia, or the experience from traveling around the world as tourists, or being raised in a perfect district of Monterey and driving a nice car, or do we get this built into our perception measurer of the boundaries in the families, societies we grew up. All these are so unconditional extremes and we cant be sure. We are like newborn birds kicked out from their nests. We come almost blind, inexperienced sniffing, tasting, gazing, watching around and trying to systematize the new world according to what we used to. We try to measure and adjust things to what we are used to know or hear. But how it is applicable? Do all that we measure and give significance to really matter for the people we interview? Or are they telling the things we want to hear? And even when they talk, what is really important for them to be heard by us and can we hear them all? All these questions were and are in my head since I went to my first research. I hope that everyone who is going to conduct a social research for the first time does not experience discomfort and doubt every single step or interaction they make.f

I hate cockroaches. Every time we go further from central Mindanao I see more and more of them. I feel disgust towards them—and it might be because of my “princessness.” They are the live creatures unwelcome in my territory and occupy everything: the hotel, my room, on my bed. Or do they think that I am in their territory?! I am bringing delicious fruits, banana chips to the room, maybe I smell food when I come from dinner or lunch ….maybe I look like food to them? Some of them are small and not so disgusting but others are huge, glistening with looong whiskers and they fly!

Seeing my reaction to cockroaches (screaming, jumping, running around or running out of the room) Miranda asked if we had cockroaches in Kazakhstan. I said none that I have ever seen…. We have different types of insects but they are not so scary, especially after the cockroaches that I saw in USA and Philippines. Our insects look different and I am used to seeing them but not to these “guys”.

One day we were in a hotel and I was so upset and scared that I decided not to sleep and offered Miranda to leave the light on. You can’t imagine what she did for me. If I tell the story it wont be funny but witnessing it would be unforgivable. Long story short, she fixed a camping net on my bed. The net is of high quality and so fine that none of those cockroaches could get through it. It was the best night because I knew, even though they are on my territory, that I was in a safe zone.

I have very little experience working with the community closely. Even though my work is tightly connected with the serving my community back in Kazakhstan. I have never personally interviewed them, nor heard their concerns and the everyday challenges they face. I live in the same area of the city where I work and it takes me an average of 15 minutes to walk to my office, but I often take office bus or a taxi. Essentially I am unable to communicate with people outside of members of my family, friends or co-workers.

During this trip we visited a lot of cities and villages called “barangays”. The farther we went from the main cities the more the level of poverty grew. Some places had really terrible roads, the day after such trips my entire body would ache. But I was hardly suffering since I could get to my destination by van with AC. While we were driving to some barangays I saw at most two cars—since they depend on motorbikes primarily. I used to see people driving scooters or mopeds for pleasure back home, and they sat alone. Here, people used mopeds to carry the whole family; father, mother, two kids. I could not help but think how dangerous and uncomfortable this was.

I observed people living in houses that I would never imagine someone could live in. They contradicted the images of homes that existed in my mind. I always believed that the materials used for a house, should be able to protect people from cold, wind, rain, snow, to essentially have strong and steady material. The houses that we saw were made of wood, cement with tin roofs made from palm leaves and etc. I am sure when it is the raining season, water goes through their roofs or if there is a strong wind houses could collapse. Probably I am mistaken with my engineering evaluation/estimation, but as I said before this challenged my ideas of a home. I saw children running around without shoes or when they did have shoes, they were very worn out. My initial thoughts were about children hurting their feet.

Some barangays residents lacked access to nearby hospitals and schools. We heard that when there is a pregnant woman she is sent to her relatives or friends who live in barangay that has a hospital. There is also a great share of women who delivers their babies at home. I remember my grandmother telling me how she delivered some of her children at home and how they died. The reasons for their death were the absence of basic medical care. I understand these cultural similarities between Kazakhs and Filipinos, but I am still in dismay of home delivery customs. On the other hand, these people have practiced various cultural customs such as home delivery for extended period of time and I am sure they are aware of the risks associated with these practices.

So after seeing all these things, the more I realized that I have never been this close to communities and see their level of development. There are many communities not only in Mindanao, that need further support from civil society organizations, or government agencies to make their lives better. I realized how essential it is for people serving their communities to go and do researches to widen their minds by going to villages and places where they have never been to, in order to feel better connection and responsibility in their jobs.

We visited a few schools concentrated on the inclusion of the peace idea throughout the school program. They are called peace schools and always had a signs of “Zone of Peace” or “Peace Zone”. People working there are devoted to the work they are doing and their true understanding of the involvement in those kids’ future lives as the missioners/planters of peace.

I found myself visiting school and its children which hundreds of running towards our group, excited, happy with big smiles. I felt frustrated at that moment in time and a little bit lost. I have never seen so many kids running into my direction to look at me and to talk to me. It turned out to be that they were shocked as well, one of the locals explained, saying they have never seen foreigners.

Today we visited another school; it was totally mind blowing and made my heart melt. As our group entered the schoolyard we became engulfed with children. There was almost a 1000 elementary school children dressed in their cute uniforms. Girls wore hijabs and some of the boys wore taqiyah on their heads. Then one of the teachers signaled to them and they started to sing a prayer song. After that followed one more song and an oral presentation by a few students on the stage. I had a strange feeling filling my heart, which made me smile. Then I began to feel a lump in my throat and I cried. Was I crying because of the words, because of the melody, because of the realization that wars and conflicts push children to face the reality without any preparation? Violence, something created by human beings. The resources of violence are different some were raised in violence and some raised violence in themselves. Violence is a blind, senseless, deaf monster devouring everything on its way. Just watching the children praying to God in asking to bring, not for their baby wishes to come true but for peace in Mindanao is heartbreaking.

First experience:

My trip to Mindanao was really exhausting and long, for some reason my flights were either cancelled or delayed. However, I was lucky to reach the Philipines before our first group meeting. My last connection flight was via Manila to Davao city. I went out of the baggage claim zone and went in direction where I had to take a bus to get to a completely different terminal. A smiling airport worker approached me and asked me to fill in the form asking for my name, flight number and time. He also asked me to show my ticket and passport. I hesitated for a second and then showed it to him. As my flight boarded late, I was nervous about changing the tickets and spending more time at the airport. He tried to calm me down by saying that I had 3 hours before my flight. I was not convinced because I did not know how long it will take to get from the terminal I arrived at, to the terminal where I would catch my next flight. I was not familiar with the airport and was worried that it might take a long time to navigate through it. The man explained me that it will take a few minutes and that we would be leaving in 5 minutes. I finally calmed down, sat on the airport bench and started to text to my family and Professor, that I was almost in Davao. He same man sat on the same bench filling papers and curiously looking at me. That disturbed me, because I do not like strangers staring at me. He then asked me where I am from, if it was my first visit, where I was heading. At some point I felt my fear go away. My attitude changed towards that person, because he was kind. I people watched for the next couple of hours and noticed that Filipinos smile to strangers. The same airport worker helped me with the luggage without even asking him to and later said to take care. That was really nice of him. He became, the person who shaped my attitude about Filipinos – They are welcoming and kind to strangers, while I was suspicious and cold.