Author Archives: Zarina Kaliaskarova

This is my last blog here and I wanted to take a chance to thank everyone with whom I interacted during the J-Term.

First of all, I would like thank Doctor Iyer for designing and leading the course. It was well planed and it worked out very well. As I also have experience in doing almost the same work related to designing programs and planing logistic, I completely understand how relieved you feel when things you planned worked out well. Being in charge of people abroad is tremendously hard but I did not feel unsafe or deprived of anything. (Except things you can do nothing about). The course you designed did not serve for me only as an examination of challenges for peace building in Mindanao but also as challenges to maintaining peace inside oneself under various circumstances. I was struggling with certain emotions, difficulties during and after the course but value of what I experienced weigh much more to me. I wish you all the best in advocating peace around the world.

Secondly, thanks to Catholic Relief Services members for bridging our team to experience Philippine’s culture, people, and the insights to the conflict resolution process. Being under your umbrella provided us with better access to the government institutions, different organizations and local people. Wish you Prosperity, Stability and Peace.

Thanks to all the interviewees for your sincerity, patience and kindness.

Thanks to all my group members. It was pleasure to know and work with you. Good luck with your future careers.

When I was taking the bus to get from one terminal to another in Manila, a women seating opposite to me started talking to a young men who just entered the bus. According to her facial expression she was nice to him; she was smiling, shaking her head in agreement. Additionally I heard some well-known words “Koran” and “Maashallah”. While the man made himself comfortable in his seat he was turning to her and showing something that was in a big frame resembling a picture. My observation suggested that he was carrying a Koran that was framed.

Mindanao is home for multiple religions. There are Muslims, Christians and Indigenous people. It was believed by the foreigners, including me, that the main reason for the conflict in Mindanao was based on religious; however, after being there I started doubt the idea. The presence of different religions was more obvious than I ever thought was possible. In some hotels, there were arrows pointing towards the Mekkah, a holy place for Muslims where they turn towards to pray. Some places had Bibles. During our visits to some religious organizations or local communities, the meetings started and/or ended with prayers. Overall, people form various communities, whether they were Christians, Indigenous people, or Muslims, expressed or commented in a positive tone regarding the representatives of the other religions. They were echoing each other’s concern that even if there is a religious reason it was in the past and roots of the current conflict should not be connected to the religion. However, according to Baba Mike Mindanao conflict has a “religious color”.

One of the most impressive meetings that we had was with this famous religious leader known as Baba Mike. I know almost everyone blogged about him so I may not convey anything new; however, I feel strongly that I have to share my impressions. From the moment I entered his office, I felt a strong presence of calmness and peace. The moment I saw a man in a white T-shirt and black pants welcoming us with his kindest smiles, I knew it was the person whom our professor, Dr. Iyer, spoke highly of. Baba Mike had not only been a religious representative, he was also one of the strongest peace advocates in Mindanao. He communicated with the people to give them the opportunity to see their problems and find solutions to their problems. He negotiated with the military, armed group’s representatives, the local people, and the children. Using different techniques he helped them find peace within themselves and then navigated them on how to make peace among themselves and others. Whenever he talked about conflict resolution, he emphasized on the important technique of talking. One might ask: but what about two groups who were and are fighting and murdering each other? How could he alone just using his words make them, at least, gather under one roof? He not only brought them together but also made them eat together at one table and talk. He strongly believes that “biases are because of ignorance.” That’s why, in order to decrease or eliminate biases and misunderstandings, people need to know about each other by sharing with each other. “Truth liberates” he said, and this reminded me on the Conflict Resolution course readings that emphasized on open talks and why they are hard to initiate because the conflict parties insistent on their positions. Finally, he advised us to “achieve big, start small,” which I interpret as having big global goal, such as bringing peace to the whole world, should start with a small “purok” (street) and grow from there.

The course was organized and planned in details. Every day, except two the days when we were done and began departing, we were devoted to attend three to four meetings a day. We met central and local government institutions, national and international organizations, various communities, peace zones and peace schools. Our days began early morning in the hours of 7-9 am. There wasn’t a single day our minivan was late to pick us up from one place and take us to another. The driver was always nice, welcoming and helpful. We were constantly moving from one organization to another during the day; dinnertime was also spent productively chatting in an informal setting in the company of the organization’s representatives and the locals. At the end of the day, we had a tiny break to leave our backpacks and unnecessary belongings at our hotel rooms and went to have lunch at one of the local restaurants. Visiting numerous organizations were not the only variation in our schedule, we were also changing cities. Our route looked as follows: Davao city, Datu Montawal in Maguindanao, Magpet in Cotabato, Tulunan and Columbio in Sultan Kudarat and Cagayan de Oro city.

Bridging organization between us, MIIS and CSUMB schools’ students and the Leader of the course Doctor Iyer, and Philippines was the Catholic Relief Services. They supported us in planning and managing our schedule, provided overall information about the conflict resolution snapshot/history in Philippines and explained what was the role, goals and activities taken by this organization in this long term conflict resolution process.

This course also gave an opportunity for those who were considering working in conflict resolution field a glance of what type of work awaits them.

During our trip we had meetings with representatives of government institutions, local and international organizations as well as villages. Interestingly the ratio of women on leading positions seemed to be equal and that fact was inspiring. The development of a country is tightly connected with bringing women to leadership positions. When women are involved in the process of shaping the national policy, they provide in depth analysis of issues relating to women and address women’s issues properly.

There was a meeting with one of the government officials. She shared with our group her life story that was not an easy one. When the conflict again erupted between Mindanao armed groups and state military, some barangays were caught in crossfire. One of those unlucky barangays was her home. Pot, some rice and a few clothes were the only belongings her family could salvage. She faced hard times as she and her family lost everything they had, including their house. They were displaced to another barangay. Because of this incident she could not complete her secondary education. However, when we met her she had completed her higher education. She also had family and she had lived abroad for some time. According to her, at some point she decided to came back to Mindanao, to the same barangay, in order to help the local people who were experiencing the same fate.

The other day we met an energetic leader Ms. Irene Santiago from a Global campaign on women, peace, and security called “Women seriously”. Main activities of the organization except trainings are organizing peace tables at various places. One of the goals of this organization is to attract 20 million women to join the movement. The leader seemed to be powerful, influential and convincing in her statements. The energy and passion calling all the women around the globe to unite in the name of protecting, supporting women and children, and of course in the name of bringing peace is extraordinary. One of the main barriers of women’ s exclusion from peace negotiations she finds the fact that “women are not warriors”. She meant that women do not participate literally in armed conflicts, but rather a great share of them participate in effective peace advocacy as a religious leader pointed out.

We had a diverse group: different age, different schools and different backgrounds. It was my first time travelling and working with Americans and it was my first encounter with Philippine nationals. I was adjusting to both cultures in one setting. Being in a classroom or in an informal setting with my American colleagues back in Monterey is significantly different than working with them on a project in a foreign country where we spent almost every hour together. We were not only moving together from one point to another, we also were helping and supporting each other in processing and analyzing new information, experience and even acquiring new skills. My group members were nice and caring towards me especially when I got ill during the trip. Unfortunately during our trip, several people including me got sick and we had to rely on each other for support. Miranda, my friend and roommate, during the trip was kind and conscientious.

Our group leader, Professor Iyer, was supportive and understanding. We could address our concerns to her during our group debriefs or we could have individual sessions with her to discuss the issue in private.

When the trip ended, I began to miss my group because our bonding grew stronger during trip.

The day of presentation! Excitement, fear, hunger! I was eating that day more than I usually do. I constantly was chewing something. I had six hours before the presentation, I was replaying the meeting with the woman whom I was playing. Interestingly the only thing that was so deep in memory was her look. She is one of the people who has this powerful, strong eagle look with a tinge of arrogance. She scared and attracted at the same time.

“Here is the stage in front of me! Oh no! I forgot my first sentence! OMG! Take a breath, Zarina, don’t panic.” I can’t explain what was that; I think it is simply fear of being on a stage and talking in front of people, especially on your third language. You care for article, tense and word order. That tiny moment of hesitation while I was coming closer in front of the audience I just remembered her again, I remembered her look, her face, her pauses, her unexpressed but definitely presented power. And I remembered how she was proud and hoped to die as “MNLF fighter.” Yes, I was rushing through this while doing five-six steps and when I stopped and brought the mike closer I blacked out. I did not remember how and what words were coming out, I just let her spirit fill in my lungs. After the presentation I heard good feedbacks. I was happy because people “got it”.

I was sick for a few days before and during rehearsal. We agreed to meet at six pm, but I needed to take a pain killer so I was late for the rehearsal. I approached Irvine auditorium. When I opened the door I realized that it is approaching – tomorrow we are presenting. The way all the rehearsal went was organized exceptionally by Doctor Iyer; everyone had his or her role, everyone was involved in the presentation and in a way that best fits the needs and wishes of the presenter. However, I was feeling sorry for those who had to present their stories without having their notes. So there were those who told the stories and those who acted. Actors were playing roles of people meet in Mindanao. By the way, our group was not the only group presenting; we were presenting with a group conducting a fieldwork in Los Angeles. I tried a few roles but did not feel them so I was replaced by those who could better convey the characters. Finally I found my heroine, MNLF fighter, very strong and admiring woman joined MNLF fighters when she was 12 years old. I was excited about my role as well as I was scared about being on a stage. I mentioned that I was sick; when we started to act I felt very hot …I don’t know whether it was my fever or my excitement about the upcoming event.

Today we received a heartbreaking news; one of the people who was related to the field of conflict resolution was murdered. It was shocking because we had a meeting with him a few days ago and he was feeling so enthusiastic about his job. Numbness and anxiety surrounded me. All the people who are struggling for peace and justice at some point has to sacrifice. And the most disastrous is that sacrificing yourself is not so dangerous as sacrificing your beloved ones. When piece advocates become parents or start a family, their kids, wives and husbands, their friends, and colleagues become targets of the conflict parties. The measure of distraction is calculated in ruined houses, injured or killed people. I would like to express my deepest and sincere respect for the peace fighters, no matter where you are, no matter how old you are, and what job you are doing, if you are fighting for peace, I wish peace be with you and your family.

This January arose lots of emotions and memories that were hiding deep in my personality. It was pure roller-coaster of emotions. I was happy as much as I was upset; I got hooked up on something and got disinterested on other things. I was doubting myself with questions like: am I getting things right? Am I interpreting the looks, actions and words of people the way they want me to? I was crying because I never touched severe poverty with my own hands. I have no idea why but I had this feeling of guilt that I have a phone that cost $1000 USD while people work days and nights on the fields without having proper tools (bare hands) for pennies. What hurt the most was villagers’ genuine happiness during our visits. Their smiles, their curiosity for who we are and what really brought us there. I thought about the food shortage the villagers would face because they were cooking food for our whole group. I would eat the food they offered even when I wasn’t feeling hungry because it is rude in my culture to refuse food.

The most important part of the trip for me is how you cope with emotions when you feel like they are going to fill you from head to toe? We had everyday debrief sessions where we shared what we had learned for the day, ask questions and clarify things. Debriefs functioned also as an emotional vent for those who needed to talk about pressing issues and express their emotions. I felt closer connection with the people when they shared their concerns or worries, when they cried, when I cried. When I felt overwhelmed, I had my roommate – Miranda to share my experience with, also. We grew closer as we shared.