The day of presentation! Excitement, fear, hunger! I was eating that day more than I usually do. I constantly was chewing something. I had six hours before the presentation, I was replaying the meeting with the woman whom I was playing. Interestingly the only thing that was so deep in memory was her look. She is one of the people who has this powerful, strong eagle look with a tinge of arrogance. She scared and attracted at the same time.
“Here is the stage in front of me! Oh no! I forgot my first sentence! OMG! Take a breath, Zarina, don’t panic.” I can’t explain what was that; I think it is simply fear of being on a stage and talking in front of people, especially on your third language. You care for article, tense and word order. That tiny moment of hesitation while I was coming closer in front of the audience I just remembered her again, I remembered her look, her face, her pauses, her unexpressed but definitely presented power. And I remembered how she was proud and hoped to die as “MNLF fighter.” Yes, I was rushing through this while doing five-six steps and when I stopped and brought the mike closer I blacked out. I did not remember how and what words were coming out, I just let her spirit fill in my lungs. After the presentation I heard good feedbacks. I was happy because people “got it”.