A lack of culpability of the parties involved in a conflict can open the door to transformative justice. There is no need to blame one another… seek a bold way to look beyond fault. Accept that all parties play a role in conflict –whether to enable, discourage, or allow. Support of the parties is crucial to transforming the conflict and encourages healing which can open the door to positive dialogue that promotes a better outcome if the same issue is broached in the future.
Agencies in Los Angeles like Youth Justice Coalition (YJC) use restorative justice as a form of conflict resolution. Restorative justice allows victims or survivors and their offenders to play a role in addressing the harm caused by an action (or crime). This type of healing has been used in Rwanda after the 1994 Genocide in a process called gacaca whereby murderers were allowed to seek forgiveness for their role in the slaughter of their neighbors and kin, as well as the juvenile justice system in the US.
One of the toughest tasks that I face is saying ‘I’m sorry’. This may be caused by a youth of defiance where I reacted to actions that surrounded me. I often felt as if I lived in a war zone of punches, slaps, and vitriolic abuse. I have learned to atone by changing my behaviors and opening my mind to the fact that others may not feel the same as me. What I learned has taken a lifetime of experiences and therapy to ground me in nuances of kindness. When I look in the eyes of the youth at YJC, I see potential and joy because they are the light which extinguishes the darkness out of which their mentees must exit. In order to move forwards into a life filled with possibilities, it is essential to step backwards and learn from the decisions and choices of the past.