Self-Critique of my first presentation                                             Presenter: Drilona Aliu

Description of Experience 

Since I was the last one to present in class, I had the advantage of seeing everyone else presenting and catching on their strategies. It seemed that all the previous presenters were very comfortable on presenting and they rarely showed any sign on nervousness. Usually, I am able to control my nervousness by giving a “talk” to myself and I imagine myself as the subject matter expert. By having these positive thoughts in my mind, I am able to control nervousness that may be created as a result of the fear of talking in front of people and sharing something very personal such as part of my childhood.

The most challenging aspect of this presentation was creating a meaningful story through an effective framework that would transmit my emotions as a child and my journey to learn English. I find it very challenging when I have a lot to share but do not know how to properly deliver my message in a logical order. While watching the DVD, I was able to identify that this challenge was evident although I tried to hide it as I was speaking. The most surprising aspect of my speech was that I used a lot of facial expressions. This might have always been the case but because I never watched myself presenting I have not been able to identify this habit. I could have done better in certain areas such as volume and speech rate, but I believe that I gave a good overall impression.

I believe that my first speech was effective and kept the audience interested. There is more room to improve upon the introduction and conclusion such as engaging the audience in my opening question: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Such questions are always a good way to start the speech as it keeps the audience interested. I also think that due to time management constraints, I could have done a better job on the conclusion such as ending my speech how this journey affected the path I chose in life. This would “justify” how English has played a role in my life and how he has influenced my personal and professional growth.

I believe that my delivery was generally clear and organized;  however, while watching the DVD I noticed that I need to work more on the speech flow and find effective ways to engage the audience. My posture and eye contact were good but I definitely need to work on my speech rate, such as making more pauses so the audience is able to “digest” the information provided and not feel overwhelmed with the amount of the information at a fast pace. I also think I “overdid” my hand gestures and this is something that I need to improve. Being from the Balkan region, it is part of our culture to excessively use hands when we talk. We are very expressive that way and that may be distracting for many people in the audience. There is also room for eliminating fillers such as um as I tend to use them quite a bit, especially in the beginning of my speech.

Overall, I believe that I have many strengths such as the ability to speak without feeling overwhelmed or very nervous,  to quickly think and avoid mistakes without getting frustrated (mistakes are for human beings), and to deliver my speech with  effective voice projection and eye contact. The main areas for improvement would be to engage the audience as they may relate more to my speech, use fewer facial and hand gestures, speak at a slower pace and make appropriate pauses, and use fewer fillers throughout the speech.

As a result, my goals to improve in public speaking are:

1. Effectively organize and clearly deliver my main points. Each main point should be backed up with effective supporting points and examples to make it more illustrative for the audience. The steps I would take to improve on this goal are to develop  a detailed speech outline and rehearse it several times while timing itso I do not run out of time.
2. Improve my speech rate. I tend to talk too fast and make very few or short pauses. It is my goal to improve my speaking pace so the audience will be able to follow it better. This can be achieved through multiple rehearsals and ability to select only worthy arguments (quantity vs quality).
3. Last but not least is hand gesture control. Watching myself on the DVD made me realize that I use my hands a lot when I speak and sometimes that can be distracting for the audience. I need to work on using my hand gestures appropriately and a way to improve that is through recording myself every time I deliver a speech and reviewing it as that is something I do unconsciously.

There are many other things to improve and I am confident that I will be able to incorporate these changes in my next presentation!

In my bitter-sweet childhood days, the words “freedom” and “independence” represented the crux of my troubles. I knew that it was not the kind of trouble I would get in when I would scribble on the pink painted walls of my bedroom, eat unripen fruit from my grandmother’s garden, or turn off the TV while my dad was anxiously watching the news. To my understanding at that time, my family’s forced mandate to leave behind everything we had built in our hometown and move to Albania as refugees was solely to be blamed on the cry for freedom and independence from Serbia. Little did I know at the time that being refugees was not a decision made of freewill… it was a must, as our country was on the verge of war.

Even though I was very young and did not have the reasoning capability of an adult, I could sense the tension around me and my family. In the midst of palpable terror and fear, I managed to find peace in self-teaching myself ballet. Despite my mental state, ballet initiated a renaissance within me. Through ballet, the chaotic scenes of fear and terror were balanced by the beautiful, slow and synchronized movements of my body. Dancing allowed me to hide in a perfect shell, built from pirouettes and fouettes. Although I had no formal instructions, ballet enabled me to escape to a self-constructed free world that everybody in the refugee camp pined. I was no longer confined by the gravity of our situation; I had found my freedom in dance.

My parents had always been supportive, but when I shared my desire to take ballet classes, I was surprised by their response. I wanted to take ballet, not solely for my enjoyment but also be part of a group. Despite my hopes, my parents softly explained to me that they could not afford to sign me up; however I should continue pursuing it on my own and they can borrow some DVRs from the public library. I felt devastated and unloved! How could they not help me pursue “the dream of my life”? That’s what parents are for!

This devastation intensified when I found out that a few days later that my dad had signed me up for private English classes that cost even more than ballet lessons. I grew up in a bilingual environment of Albanian and Italian, so I did not need an academic introduction to learn a language. I learned Italian mostly playing in streets with friends and watching my favorite cartoons. Why did I need a third language, especially in a country where nobody knew English? I asked this question over and over to my dad and I remember him replying: Americans are our friends and one day we will go there! I asked if I would take ballet classes there and he replied: YES! It was the biggest yes I had ever heard from him.

This promise motivated me to attend all my English classes and try hard to learn the language. It was not an easy process as English was not a common language in a post-communist country like Albania. Majority of people spoke Russian as it was the foreign language taught in schools.

Many of my friends who attended ballet classes would comment on how much they enjoyed it and how one day they will be performing in prestigious academies such as the Bolshoi Ballet Academy. I secretly envied them but I always remember my father’s promises. Although he never kept his promise, I started liking my English class and my teacher as well. I became friends with a lot of my classmates and we would practice every other day. Another companion to this journey was my father as he would push me to learn new words on weekly basis. The English course was useful for teaching grammar rules however; it was my father who would always make sure I fully utilized all the available resources. He even bought an Albanian-English dictionary and would ask if I knew random words. Although some of those words were outdated and my father spoke no English, he tried to do his very best to help me.

Ballet remained one of my unfulfilled dreams however; I accepted the reality as I was used to not having everything I wanted. I lived as a refugee in Albania where security and food were my family’s primary concerns. It would be very selfish of me to ask for something that my parents could not afford and see a payoff. I know that such decisions were not easy for them and now I realize that my parents’ guidance to take English classes was the best decision as it opened many doors for me. I am getting an education in the US, visited many interesting places and met many people from different cultures.

My family’s journey and the discipline I learned through ballet have served as my primary inspiration to work passionately and ethically to achieve my goals, no matter how big the obstacles along the way.  It has not been an easy journey, but today I can undoubtedly say: it was worth it. Through my experience, I learned how to work hard in order to achieve a higher personal and intellectual status and how important it is to not take things for granted. I attribute everything that I have come to know and sought to discover to my family and to my passion for ballet.