Through the workshop, I have realized that I tend to have redundancy in my paper from both macro and micro perspectives. For example, although I have already explained the definition of what rare earths is, I explained it again in another paragraph later. This kind of redundancy may have arisen from editing process which lacked a focus of macro perspective. Reading through my paper more closely for micro editing purpose, wrong word choices and worthless transition-words tend to be recognized as my weakness. I have learned that I should not use a meaningless adverb word/clause as a transition and such “fake” use makes me disregard real cohesion between my sentences. Better word choices, however, is relatively difficult to fix because I believe the only solution is to obtain rich vocabulary words through everyday reading and wiring in general. Whether more difficult or easier to improve, it is worth noticing that those two weak points are mainly attributed to my redundancy trend in my writing.
1) Through the workshop, I have realized that I tend to have redundancy in my paper from both macro and micro perspectives.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? Yes. The subject and the verb of the main clause is underlined.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? It is easy to get to subject and only one introductory clause.
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? No.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.
2) For example, although I have already explained the definition of what rare earths is, I explained it again in another paragraph later.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? Yes underlined.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? It is easy to get to the subject. In this case there is an introductory clause starting with “although.”
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? No.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.
3) This kind of redundancy may have arisen from editing process which lacked a focus of macro perspective.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? Yes, underlined.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? The sentence starts with the subject and there is no more introductory clauses.
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? No.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.
4) Reading through my paper more closely for micro editing purpose, wrong word choices and worthless transition-words tend to be recognized as my weakness.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? This is an impersonal (so subject) clause, the verb is in a passive form.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? The main clause starts with “wrong word”, but there is another introductory clause starting with “reading.”
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? It does not have a concrete subject, but it is easy to get to the main point.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.
5) I have learned that I should not use a meaningless adverb word/clause as a transition and such “fake” use makes me disregard real cohesion between my sentences.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? Yes, underlined.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? It does not take long to get to the subject. There is a copulative clause connected with the conjunction “and.”
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? No.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.
6) Better word choices, however, is relatively difficult to fix because I believe the only solution is to obtain rich vocabulary words through everyday reading and wiring in general.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? Yes, underlined.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? It is easy to get to the subject. There is a second clause connected with the consecutive conjunction “because.”
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? No.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.
7) Whether more difficult or easier to improve, it is worth noticing that those two weak points are mainly attributed to my redundancy trend in my writing.
– Do the sentences have a concrete subject and an active verb? Yes, underlined.
– Does it take too long to get to the subject? Is there more than one introductory clause? No. there is a second relative clause starting with “noticing”
– Does it take too much time to get from the subject to the verb? No.
– Do you see any interruptions between subject and verb or verb and object? No interruptions.