Welcome to the EAPP8494 blog site for Fall 2011 on Blogs @ MIIS!
I have created a “category” for each student, so simply post your blog entries under your own category. That way, all your own own posts can easily be found in one place. Don’t forget to comment on at least one of your peers’ blog posts each week. We will all benefit from the feedback!
A description of your ongoing blog assignment can be found on Moodle under “Updated Blog Instructions.” Remember that you must post your blog entry by FRIDAY at 8:00PM every week. I’ve provided a sample blog post below.
See you in class!
Sample Entry:
1. This week, while reading for my Introduction to Policy Analysis class, I came across the following passage:
In spite of the fact that the educational environment is a very significant facet to each and every one of our children, some groups do not support reasonable and fair tax assessments that are required for providing an educational experience at a high level of quality. (From: Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace by Joseph Williams).
2. I think that this passage is wordy and hard to follow. It also uses weak, inactive verbs (is/are), making the action unclear.
3. The United States ability to confront, neutralize, and possibly overwhelm terrorism outside of territory of the U.S. to deter terrorist actions of 9/11 may have been effective as the book mentions if the Clinton Administration have chosen to confront bin Laden’s organization more offensive, recognizing the severity of its dangers and taking military action, which is similar what John Lewis Gaddis states scholar states of US national security strategy. In addition, the Clinton administration should have engaged more vigorously in Bin laden’s base in Sudan, instead his ego was to maintain an optimistic approach to the public before his reelection. The book also mentions that the pinprick strikes sent the wrong message to bin Laden with a lack of political will and use the full extent of military assets against Al Qaeda. Class’ PowerPoint mentions that the Clinton administration had two opportunities to respond decisively to the attacks on African embassy and USS Cole bombings. In contrast to Clinton’s domestic law enforcement bodies and weaken Al Qaeda to the limit extent than pressuring the Taliban in Afghanistan, Bush administration considered that bin Laden represented a tremendous threat to American interests at home and abroad and engaged in foreign and security policy after 9/11. The United States ability to confront, neutralize, and possibly overwhelm terrorism can be influenced by different administrations; however, the methods of confronting terrorism can be learned and enhanced by each administration.
4. I’m currently working on a summary of a Policy Analysis reading. The audience consists of my teacher and possibly my classmates. I’m having a hard time with this paragraph because I’m trying to describe a difficult article. I’m not sure if my paragraph is cohesive.
3 replies on “Welcome + Sample Post”
Hi everybody,
I am trying to log in to the website. Elana, Please let me know if you reached this post. I am trying post my blog here. But I am not sure as the post has a sample in the front that I cannot delete.
Thanks
Iraq had ups and downs in its education and teaching system. I wanted to discuss these ups and downs objectively during last session in the ESL program at Monterey Institute of International Studies. I have foun¬¬¬¬¬¬d some excerpts of the paper I wrote that need revision. This is a sample of the excerpt of one of the papers.
“This exodus left the country in shortage of expertise. During 2011, the eighth year in Iraq after American existence the country, the government started to boost the educational system of the country after being left for decades without improvement or development. Iraqi government started since 2003 to sending scholars abroad to gain degrees in science and education. Then, return to build the infrastructure of the country.”
I have noticed some issues that require a drastic revision in this paper in terms of “register, grammar, and vocabulary choice”.
I started this paper with an introduction that contained a summary for the most important events that took place during the period of 2003 through 2006 in Iraq. I used some vocabulary in the wrong place or chose some vocabulary that is inappropriate for the context. Let us start with the following sentences:
*This exodus left the country in shortage of expertise.
1. Undefined “exodus”.
2. No “a” before a countable noun “Shortage”.
3. Misused word “Expertise”.
*During 2011, the eighth year in Iraq after the American existence.
1. Sentence Structure
2. Misused word: American existence: Presence.
*The government started to boost the educational system of the country.
1. Word misuse: Boost: Develop
*Iraqi government started since 2003 to sending scholars abroad to gain degrees in science and education.
1. Ambiguous structure and misuse of To+infinitive phrases.
*Then, return to build the infrastructure of the country.
1. Ambiguous sentence that missing the subject and misused word “Infrastructure”.
While reading The Public Policy Primer by Xun Wu i found this sentence:
However, in reality, this potential remains largely untapped for a variety of reasons, including the widespread perception that their responsibility is confined to administrative and organizational tasks, to the exclusion of the political and technical considerations that characterize agenda setting.
I believe this sentence is somewhat wordy. Instead of writing “their responsibility is confined” the writer could have written “policy makers are responsible for” or “are in charge of” making the sentence a bit clearer. Also “to the exclusion of” threw me off. I guess the writer could have used the verb “excluding” instead of the noun.
This is a paragraph from an essay I wrote for one of my English classes. The audience would be my professor.
Similarly to how the narrator is very crucial to the story its paradox is equally as essential. A paradox is an apparent statement that contains some sort of truth, which closely relates to the narrator of the story. As the narrator, the woman is confined within the “repellent, almost revolting, smoldering unclean yellow, [and] strangely faded” walls; she begins to lose touch with her actual life and comes to a full acceptance of her inner world (141). From the commencement of the story the reader is aware that the narrator is quite imaginative. Not only is the mansion lovely and big, but the narrator also states that it is “a haunted house” (140). The narrator gets pleasure from believing that the mansion is haunted seeing as she remembers how she used to scare herself with make-believe monsters as a child. Given the circumstances, the woman is not allowed to do much therefore she becomes frustrated. Her negative mind-set begins to control the way she perceives her surroundings, making them appear ominous and disturbing. Once she becomes delirious, the reader begins to question if she is reliable. At first instinct she is crazy for she is “quite sure it is a woman” behind the wallpaper (147). She also states that she has “watched her sometimes away off in the open country, creeping as fast as a cloud shadow in a high wind” (149). As she sinks deeper into her obsession with the yellow wallpaper she becomes more dissociated from her actual life. The reader now realizes that she has slipped into a world of fantasy where she is no longer a reliable source due to the restrictions her husband has placed, yet she is uncovering the truth under what may appear to be a false hallucination.