The question many of us ask ourselves in a digital world: Is technology taking away from our personal connections? Many argue that with the increased use of text messaging, email and social media sites, people are losing more personal, face-to-face connections.  Relationships are depending more on digital communication, and with this, too, comes a deterioration of language. I am someone who tends to agree with that argument. Daily I find myself competing against technology for the attention of the people around me. Simply not owning a smartphone excludes me from what feels like the majority of social life as a modern 19 year old: snapchat, twitter, instagram, or whatever game is popular at any moment. Sometimes it really does feel like the use of digital media takes away from face to face socialization.

I am, however, forcing myself to see the other side of the argument. What people do socially online simply mimics how they act socially in person. Technology can add to a relationship rather than replace it, and new forms of communication, likewise, are not meant to replace oral conversation. The two are fundamentally different. Awesome. I can accept that; but I’ve also seen it change a social environment in what feels like a negative way. I spent the last year traveling in South America – without a phone, without internet for (gasp!) days at a time – and most of the people around me were the same. The locals who had phones more often than travelers did had simple calling and texting phones that they would use occasionally. I could get to know a person incredibly well without ever becoming their friend on facebook! The point is: whenever I was talking or experiencing something with other people, all of our heads were right there in the moment.

Coming back to the states, however, I was abruptly met with a different relationship between technology and social life. My friends would stop to “snapchat” (something everyone but I had heard of) in the middle of a conversation, people would stop during an experience to tweet about it, and at least one person was always texting a third party. I could be sitting with a group of friend staring into space because no one was fully “there.” In this way, technology takes away from fully experiencing what is going on around you.

Maybe this still doesn’t mean that technology is the culprit; maybe it just means that we need to learn how to use technology in a way that keeps it from taking over. I know many people who use digital media conscientiously, who put their phones away while at lunch with friends and know when keep their attention in the moment. I personally am a proponent of stepping away from the mainstream “addiction” to technology, but I can also understand the vast benefits of inter-connectedness, the great source of information, and the positive impact it can have on social life as long as people know when not to use it.

Here’s a video that reflects what technology can do to people: