Recently procrastination has become my single largest use of technology. It’s not good. I spent an enormous portion of the day watching Youtube videos I didn’t even want to watch to avoid working on what I should have been working on (i.e. my final papers that are due in a month and are as of yet unstarted, or my revisions for the scholarly article analysis). It wasn’t that I thought turning to technology was a better or even a more fun thing to do; it was just that it felt like the easiest thing to be doing at each moment. I think that’s one of the keys to technology overuse: ease. Not just ease of access, but also ease of travel down the passive neurological pathways that lead me time and again to sort of funny Youtube videos and posts on Facebook I don’t care about. Without having to engage my mind I can have some sort of gratification, however small. I know from experience that using technology in creative ways or working on my schoolwork ultimately will be more fulfilling and rewarding, but sometimes the upfront intellectual investment is more than I can handle. And yes, maybe it had something to do with the inadequate amount of sleep I got this weekend, or perhaps the fact that what seems to be 500 pounds of phlegm is trying to eat my brain, but I know that without the easy path I would force myself to be productive, or at least to sleep. Maybe I need another media fast, or maybe when I feel like I do now the easy thing is the right thing. Maybe taking care of myself entails giving myself a break by doing something I feel is unproductive. I don’t know. I’ll probably just end up on Youtube again, and then have to apologize to myself later.

-epn