I happened upon a moment of introspection today, when I found myself looking through my old Facebook profile pictures. There were photos dating from 2007 on there, from my very earliest days of using Facebook. As I journeyed back through more than five years of my life, I found myself for the first time viewing my photos not as myself, but as a casual observer might. I tried to think about the message each picture sent, and more importantly how that reflected on who I was at the time. With each passing picture, it became clearer to me that who I was differed greatly from who I thought I was.

Seeing that boy with hair in his eyes and soft features, and seeing the dearth of comments and likes beside him, I saw the portrait of a lonely young kid, the kid I was. I should explain that I went to an all-male boarding middle school, where I felt I never belonged because I was a day student. While I excelled academically, I struggled socially and typically reverted to my introverted habits. I did try to build friendships there, and by my final year I felt like I had gained a group of friends. I remember taking those old profile pictures, thinking that by posting them I would look cool. It made me realize that I was playing the oldest game adolescents play: pretending to be someone they’re not.

I am infinitely happier than I was then, primarily because I have come to an understanding of who I am. I no longer feel the need to misrepresent myself online, because I have stopped worrying what other people think. If you are the kind of person that wants to pass judgment on me, then you’re also the kind of person whose opinion means nothing to me. But that boy in the pictures hadn’t come to terms with who he was. I’m a weird kid. I’m a nerd. I’m a geek. I like Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings and 50 Cent and Childish Gambino and Skyrim. I write science fiction books and screenplays in my free time. I have created many different sport-simulation games using dice, and I have invented at least five different actual sports. I play sports video games for the front office options, not the actual sport. I want to be a famous author and screenwriter and I don’t care if you think my dream’s stupid, because I know who I am, and that is a person who doesn’t give up, who will never be truly happy unless he is creating, who is hilariously socially awkward, who believes in the good of all people then judges them harshly when they don’t live up to that standard (I’m not particularly proud of the second part), who will work himself into the ground without even touching schoolwork, who doesn’t believe in failure, and who needs at least eight hours of sleep a night. I’m not a popular kid. I’m not an athlete, although I do like sports. I care deeply about certain things, and don’t mind expressing my emotions when it comes to those things. There it is. That’s me. I wish I could show my past self this list to reassure him that it’s okay to be who you are. The most important thing to realize is what author Bernard Baruch said: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” That’s it. Be you. Do you. Never be afraid of who you are. Own it. The world might think it has figured you out. Proved it wrong or right. It’s your choice.

-epn

Upon picking up my package from Target at the Mail Center today, I began to realize just how remote Middlebury is.  Back home, I frequently drove the 3 minute trip over to Target to pick up any odds and ends I needed throughout the day.  And by frequently, I mean I went to Target probably 5 days out of the 7 day week.  Though I’ve been too busy with homework and practice to notice it, Middlebury really is in the middle of nowhere.  Yes, there’s Shaws and TJMaxx, which have most of what we consider to be “essentials,” but this past week I’ve started to miss the ease of living in a Boston suburb with tons of stores less than 5 minutes from my house.  As much as it makes me uncomfortable to be in an unfamiliar place with few outside resources close to us, I can’t help but be thankful for media and technology.

When I was in dire need of a Target trip last week, I picked up my laptop and went to their website to order some stuff.  I did the same with various other stores that I’ve started to miss.  Ordering online definitely isn’t the same as walking into a massive store, but I’ve found that it does the trick for now.  It amazes me that with one click, we can order something we’ve seen in a picture and have it show up right on campus in under a week.  Similarly, I love the fact that I can call or Skype my friends back home and still hear their voice or see their face.  Again, not as good as actually seeing them, but it carries me over for a little while.

So even though I’m far from home, I still feel like I’m back in Belmont because technology made sure that part of me never left.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/6ir4e8

This is a mix I recorded last saturday night for the WRMC Radio. I remember when I first wanted to DJ; it must have been 3 years ago. I used to do so much research online because I couldn’t get my hands on any gear. Surfing online for DJ gear and learning about it was the closest connection I could get with DJ equipment. Finally, after making some money in my gap year, I bought myself a midi controller as a gift for myself. It didn’t take me a long time to get used to it because I looked at the picture layout on Google so many times that I knew where every button was. My parents were kind enough to buy me a quality portable controller and this is my first mix of it. There are plenty of mistakes in it but hey, start from the bottom!

Hello everyone,

I have always hesitated to get a twitter account.  Having facebook, I honestly never understood the point of twitter.  ”Why would you write your status’ on twitter instead of on facebook?” I would always ask.  It seems so repetitive and a waste of time.  Everyone posts about what they are doing right now and honestly why would one care.  I understand that it is a fun way to follow famous people that you are fans of, but other than subscribing to well known twitter users, I just did not understand the point.  Facebook status’ seemed to be more substantial and interesting to read.

After speaking with the digital media class about these issues that I have always had with twitter, I have a whole new understanding of the social networking site.  As a result of getting a twitter account for the class, I have come to really enjoy the site.  I like posting tweets that don’t have to always mean anything important.  One thing about twitter that I really like that most students also mentioned in the class, is that one is able to post anything they want without feeling like their post is going to get judged.  On facebook, it is true, I always feel like I have to think about what I am posting really hard before I post it, because I know all my friends will see it, whereas on twitter everyone posts random or funny tweets and most of the time your friends won’t even get a chance to see it.  Another thing I have come to like on twitter is that they limit the amount of characters in a post you are allowed to add.  This makes it so posts aren’t overwhelmingly long and are easily read in a short time period.  I really enjoy that aspect.

In conclusion, I have come to realize that twitter and facebook are two very different type of social networking sites and that twitter is more laid back and fun to explore.

Thanks for reading,

Ben

What better time to turn off the phone and the computer for a day than the day my roommate’s neighbor comes to town? It turns out my roommate, Lydia’s, neighbor is writing a book about cow suits. A funny joke that started in college has led her to put on a cow suit with anyone who will join her to visit races, hospitals, events, and fundraisers just to see what happens. (Check it out at cowsuitsaturday.com.) The plan for Saturday was to put on some cow suits, traipse around Burlington, see Lake Champlain, and then go to the Ben and Jerry’s factory. 

So I woke up, checked my email one last time, and at 10:00 a.m. the clock for my media fast started. I turned off the phone, ipod, computer; everything. We immediately hopped into some cow suits in the parking lot next to the student center, got into Billy’s rental car and started the journey. All along the way we stopped at a country store, a herd of cows by the side of the road, and a random farmers market to take photos. All along the way people had impressively different reactions. They would either be delighted to ask us what the story was, or they had stone cold faces unaffected by the 4 cows walking around in public. It was a very interesting dynamic.

When we finally made our way to Burlington, we found ourselves in the middle of their Saturday morning market! Artists, college students, vendors, farmers and locals all gathered in the plaza for a beautiful Saturday morning. People would come up to us every few seconds to ask to take a photo or to hear our story. And let me just say, Vermonters are probably the cutest people ever. One old man came up to us and, once he found out we were new to Vermont, waved a wrinkly finger at us saying, “Watch out! Onc      e you come here you might get hooked. A lot of people come to Vermont and never leave.” And I could definitely understand what someone’s adorable grandpa was trying to tell us. Vermont is awesome. Especially with the leaves starting to turn, the landscape is beautiful, the air is crisp and fresh, and despite the weather change, Vermonters keep such a warmth in their hearts with every season.

We moooved on to visit the lake, took some great photos and, again, met tons of cool people along the way before we drove to the Ben and Jerry’s factory. As soon as we pulled up to the parking lot, though, we knew that Ben and Jerry’s was going to be the perfect place to wear a cow suit. We sent our friend Nick to buy the tickets, where the guy gave him his ticket free for wearing a cow suit. He came out with three paid tickets and his own, but when we walked inside to join the tour and the guy saw our own cow suits, the man waved us back over and emptied the money Nick had just paid from the register for a refund. Everybody loved us!

The tour was awesome; we learned a lot about Ben and Jerry’s, how they do business, how they make their delicious ice cream, and got free samples at the end. By now it was approaching late afternoon, so we headed back to Midd for a dinner out on the town (we took off the cow suits for this one).

Coming back to campus without technology was when things started to feel strange. While we were in Burlington and at the Ben and Jerry’s factory, I really didn’t miss my phone or my email because I didn’t need it! My friends were snapchatting and texting as usual, but I didn’t feel the need to. When we got pack to campus, however, it started to feel strange. I took a nap and woke up to an empty hall – no one was around! And I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up taking my bike out to go for a ride and, of course, eventually ran into some people I knew. I sat with them for dinner and for the rest of the night, I had no idea what was going on except for where I was at that moment. Usually on a Saturday night at Midd, I text a few people to see what’s going on in other places around campus and maybe go to meet up with them, but this Saturday I simply went to where I was going and enjoyed it!

What was hard for me was hanging out with friends when they wanted to show me a youtube video or something on the internet. I tried to distance myself from this type of technology use also, but it was also something I forgot to pay attention to at times. It’s interesting how one is exposed to media that isn’t even his own. However, the media fast really did feel like a breath of fresh air. After living at least half of the last 3 years of my life without a phone and with limited internet access, being on email and on my phone all the time is a source of stress for me. Letting go felt therapeutic. I definitely noticed the difference when I remembered that my brother was in Burlington, and I couldn’t text him to meet up for lunch, or when I was going out with friends on Saturday night and didn’t have the option of communicating with people who weren’t with me, but it was fine overall. I think more people should know what it’s like not to have a phone or a computer.