I have a confession. Cedar and I have been listening to a self-help book. It gets worse: the title is Unfu*k Yourself. “How did this come to be?” you ask.
Well I had one credit about to expire on Audible and there it was, a NYT bestseller, too. I listened to the sample and heard Gary John Bishop’s feisty Sottish brogue, saw that it was mercifully short, and thought, “Why not?” Cedar had no answer.
![](https://sites.middlebury.edu/cedar/files/2022/12/Screen-Shot-2022-12-07-at-6.59.48-AM-300x300.png)
It occurs to me, as we near the end, that Cedar has Bishop’s seven assertions nailed. In other words, if we take away the occasional bout with the dog run, or a likely scar from dog Ace trying to have a taste of her brain, she’s pretty much Un-fu*ked already.
- I am willing. (Oh yeah.)
- I am wired to win. (My nose meets your elbow at the table and no more typing for you.)
- I got this. (Dummy 50 yards out in 20 degree weather and 3 ‘ seas? No pasa nada.)
- I embrace the uncertainty. (Whatever that means, I’m down.)
- I am not my thoughts; I am what I do. (Take my lead, Dad. It’s easier than you think.)
- I am relentless. (Need proof? Let’s play fetch. Better yet, move one muscle away from the laptop and watch me JUMP.)
- I expect nothing and accept everything. (You’re one lucky MoFo [*ker], Dad. )
Okay, even if my Mom weren’t reading this, I’d have to confess here that I had a pretty great childhood. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.) I’m privileged. I even got to go to college with the rich kids—a gift that keeps on giving, and that I try my best to share with others. I don’t really think of myself as needing to be unfu*ked, but I do realize if I am tangled up in some mental version of my own dog lead, I’m likely the only one who is going to figure it out.
![](https://sites.middlebury.edu/cedar/files/2022/12/ScarForBrains-225x300.jpeg)
The “I am wired to win” bit in Bishop’s book is funny. He is downright unsentimental, and what he means by that, I think, is that most of us are “wired to win” but at the wrong game. We need to adjust our expectations of ourselves and others to unmask that we’re winning at being stuck in the status quo. Well, fair enough. (Be warned that Bishop has a bit of a “bootstraps” approach and turns to unsavory characters like Machiavelli and Schwarzenegger for inspirational quotes.)
So as I ponder that little game-change, I want to relate something touching that Katrina recently relayed to me. She suggested that Cedar “brings out the best in me.” Two reactions here (beyond my thanks for that lovely thought): 1) Ongoing apologies to the rest of you , and 2) as Katrina well knows, that’s not an easy job.
For now, dear reader(s), know in these dark days of December, I’m doing my best to take it on myself—well, with my willing, relentless, accepting, and impressively unfu*ked companion.
![](https://sites.middlebury.edu/cedar/files/2022/12/Fetch-1024x768.jpg)
![](https://sites.middlebury.edu/cedar/files/2022/12/IMG_6404-768x1024.jpeg)
You must be logged in to post a comment.