Comments on: Fitting In

By: Linda

Linda — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:47:42 +0000

Stanis,

Wow! Do I consider myself fortunate to have had you stay after graduation to continue to be part of the community as a CRA at Middlebury.
Your blog has helped me to understand a bit more about our student body and if any time there is any thing I can do to help someone I am here for them.
I may not be a professional counselor but I have had enough life experience to know how to be a good listener.

Best,
Linda Ross

By: Cooper C.

Cooper C. — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 22:26:25 +0000

Thanks for the post, Stanis. It’s nice to hear your perspective. I can definitely understand where you are coming from. As far as how Middlebury compares to where I come from, the Middlebury community is much more prone to be unwilling to discuss important personal issues. I can think of many reasons why this may be: academic stress, fear of unresponsiveness, fear that your problems are “too heavy” to talk about, not knowing when it is and isn’t okay to talk about something that’s bothering you (i.e. Would it be okay if I talked about this in the dining hall? or Should I knock on her door to talk or would I be disrupting her precious study time?). Often times, Middlebury students have a pretty tough course load and are constantly working on their next assignment, which tends to send the message, “It’s not that I don’t have a desire to listen to your problems, it’s just that I don’t really have time right now.” I’ve found that CRAs, Commons Heads and Deans, and the Health and Counseling Center are all plausible options for talking about a particularly emotional subject, but it seems to be pretty taboo among peers in my opinion. I think a well publicized student-led “grief group” of some sort would be very beneficial to creating a stronger sense of support and community at Middlebury for those who need it.

By: psyoong

psyoong — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:42:32 +0000

Hear hear. I think many people appear to be doing fine on the outside for lots of reasons – cultural, social, etc. Although I think that the residential staff are doing their best to help, I wish there were better avenues for students to help their peers outside the Commons system. It’s hard especially when you’re not close to someone, but can tell that they’re struggling with Midd life and can’t really reach out to them, or encourage them to seek help.

By: Parent

Parent — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:43:43 +0000

As a parent of a first-year student, it is heartening to know that the college has people like you there to offer help and guidance to students who may be struggling or just trying to figure things out.

Thank you for being so honest and open.