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Choose Love over Fear

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Today and every day, choose love over fear until it becomes your habit. Wayne Dyerdownload

Today I reminded myself of the time I was freer when I could Love without fear and find strength in vulnerability. In the past months I had grown fearful of hurting others and being hurt which naturally limited my ability to give my love without holding back and looking for reciprocity. It stopped me from being direct and honest to the degree I wanted to. (But if we are, indeed, destined to live our own separate realities, isn’t the only way to bridge the inherent gap between each other precisely direct, honest communication?!)
Ironically, I had put myself and others through a lot of pain simply by trying not to cause pain.
Back then when I lived life to its fullest intensity, I accepted pain as a normal part on the path of learning.
I have been hurt and I have, certainly, hurt others. But may be we shouldn’t villainize pain and strive to escape it.
One thing I had embraced before and forgotten recently is that pain and being hurt is a catalyst of change and transformation.
Being afraid of hurting others or being hurt petrifies us and leaves little space for the good stuff in life- like Love and Empathy. If we accept the possibility of occasionally getting hurt or hurting others (without it being intentional, of course!) as an inevitable part of life that we can nevertheless celebrate, we may find that in the end fear isn’t really worth it and that guardedness is much more dangerous than vulnerability.


Categories: Midd Blogosphere

download“When a stargirl cries, she sheds not tears but light.”
― Jerry Spinelli, Stargirl

Wonderful, wonderful book, which miraculously found me through the amazing Christmas gift of Kalina Bibishkova who came at home to give it to me, saying I reminded her of Stargirl- a compliment most valuable and heart-warming. I did see myself in the book, but it also served as a great inspiration to me to keep on being authentic, peeling off layers of fear…

I read the book “at one breath” as we say in Bulgarian. And at every description I saw you, too, Kalina. Thank you for the Christmas miracle. I guess we aren’t strangers if we share the same path, the same “life mission”: to be at all times in love, to create Love and to breathe Love.

“Star people are rare”- the author says. But I have the feeling each and every one has a Star person lying somewhere deep in ourselves. To be awaken as Star people we need to dig deep into ourselves, but we also need each other, to support each other and show each other our greatness no matter whether we see it or not. And to that I dedicate my life, my Love, my words, my actions, my body, my min and soul, and… I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up on wanting to be better, to be free, to Love and be Loved, … After the n-th brake up/failure/whatever, we go on, enriched, but not thrown down. We, stargirls. 

stargirlred“Of course we did other things too. We walked. We talked. We rode bikes. 
Though I had my driver’s license, I bought a cheap secondhand bicycle so 
I could ride with her. Sometimes she led the way, sometimes I did. Whenever 
we could, we rode side by side. 

She was bendable light: she shone around every corner of my day. 
She taught me to revel. She taught me to wonder. She taught me to laugh. 
My sense of humor had always measured up to everyone else’s; but timid 
introverted me, I showed it sparingly: I was a smiler. In her presence I 
threw back my head and laughed out loud for the first time in my life.
She saw things. I had not known there was so much to see. 
She was forever tugging my arm and saying, “Look!”
I would look around, seeing nothing. “Where?”
She would point. “There.”
In the beginning I still could not see. She might be pointing to a doorway, or a person, or the sky. But such things were so common to my eyes, so undistinguished, that they would register as “nothing” I walked in a gray world of nothing.” 
― Jerry SpinelliStargirl

Little daily insight #2

Categories: Midd Blogosphere

Maggie Nazer, Fall in BulgariaSomething I found within my collection of letters which I once again need to practice:

What I have personally found is that The secret of living is giving. You are very close to this already, I believe.

Yet, I suspect there is a big chance that you might miss something that is not so easy to notice. In most of cases giving might lead to a disappointment and some sort of suffering.

But there is more to that and it is all upside-down as it is with many other things.

The most important is not whether you will receive anything, but whether you can give without fearing.

Without being afraid that your giving might be seen as a weakness; that you might not get anything out of it, or be hurt.

And then what happens is that the more you give, the more you get. It’s the magic of the Universe.

11/29/2010 Sofia, Bulgaria

Adapted from a letter to me by Mitko Karamanchev