Never has a cold, but trashbin is filled with Kleenex

Reluctant to have blacklight party in room

Seems To Always Be Looking at Middlebury Home page…naked

Wears no pants, just long tshirts in room

When you don’t go on your Saturday morning run, he takes a 45 minute shower

One arm far more muscular than the other

Internet history suspiciously always empty

You return to find chair propped up against door

Launders socks daily

Fresh “mayonnaise” stains on the rug every Monday afternoon

Dog eared copy of “Freshman New Faces” book on desk

*Sorry, ladies. It’s scientifically proven that women don’t masturbate (see page 20, Science section)